#32738
posted:
11/03/2009 15:00:42
|
Christ. That was the most rubbish bit of free running I've ever seen.
Shit. If thats the required standard then me and Lucas must be about to turn professional.
And I'm 36 with a heavy drink problem and he's 4.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32737
posted:
11/03/2009 14:04:49
|
|
do not try that at home kids
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32736
posted:
11/03/2009 14:03:18
|
i think so
http://www.tinyurl.com/chcp97
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32735
posted:
11/03/2009 13:28:05
|
Can this be beaten? I dont know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz7_3n7xyDg
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32734
posted:
11/03/2009 13:15:23
|
Well, the Zoom mrs 802, my chosen home recording unit, certainly is value for money. However, I've decided to save up for the 1602, its got 16 tracks man and there's one on gum tree for £280.
I will complete this album on 8 track in respect to George Martin and Brian Wilson, who both completed several masterpieces on 2 4 tracks sellotaped together, including Sgt Pepper, Revolver, Pet sounds and the original aborted Smile recordings including Good Vibrations. Incredible really.
The music industry really has lost its way. Outside of commissioned pieces for film or tv, there's really no need to achieve the type of perfection in clarity that modern studios and producers seem to consider a must.
Whats required is 'TIMBRE'. a sense of depth and genuine endeavour on the part of the human collaborators, otherwise known as soul. Technology cannot provide this, only humanity can. Jerry Wexler at muscle shoals and Berry Gordy at Motown probably provide the most consistent and well known examples of this in recording-hence the term soul music being attributed to their labels and the thousands of immitators. The quality on those records is apparent, the clarity isn't. In fact if you recorded them now digitally with all the tech and training given to todays engineers, I dont believe they would sound very good.
As a race we have to be able to distinguish where technology really is advantageous and where it isn't and apply it accordingly. As tye current world economic depression has shown us aftyer the ridiculous gluttony of the west throughout the 90's, throwing money at things is not the answer at all.
I urge all of my fellow music makers to keep it simple, keep it humble and keep it gritty.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32733
posted:
11/03/2009 11:00:28
|
Present for Darlene - most of the soundtrack from the DC Video
http://www.seeqpod.com/search/?plid=402c6b9ad1
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32732
posted:
11/03/2009 10:46:51
|
|
I meant - east coast - sorry Keith.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32731
posted:
11/03/2009 10:46:34
|
|
... to become unrecognisable as anything more than flotsam as it washes silently up amongst the lapping waves off the west coast of the Argentine. Except for his huge conk, which forms the basis of a new land mass just north of the falkland Islands.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32730
posted:
11/03/2009 10:40:54
|
|
If everyone could just reverse the east coasts and the west coasts in that last passage I think its beautiful.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32729
posted:
11/03/2009 10:39:26
|
|
For all we know Darlene's probabaly in the fucking drink, bloated and blackened, face down on the current heading out from Putney downstream through the Thames estuary out to sea, across the Goodwin sands, where his putrid corpse will probably run aground for a few hours, before the rising tide takes him out into the channel, to be picked up by a tributary current of the atlantic conveyor, where before long he'll be off the coast of Spain, and hence sampled and spat out by the sharks off the coast of East Africa and Zanzibar, where buffeted and hurled like a rag doll by Hurrican Hamish his decomposed corpse will come apart, and trailed by groups of screaming gulls, each limb and raggedy item of fleshy textile will merge with the weed of the Sargasso sea, to become unrecognisable as anything more than flotsam as it washes silently up amongst the lapping waves off the west coast of the Argentine.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32728
posted:
11/03/2009 10:32:01
|
|
You've got a fucking nerve coming on here like everythings fucking fine.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32727
posted:
11/03/2009 09:08:54
|
|
Good morning chocolate lovers.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32726
posted:
10/03/2009 16:27:56
|
http://www.tinyurl.com/3wgl6n
And she ended up with a party ring.
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32725
posted:
10/03/2009 16:27:22
|
Last time Chantelle went to a gay club she ended up with one of these: http://tinyurl.com/3wgl6n
etc
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32724
posted:
10/03/2009 16:14:39
|
http://www.britishdelights.com/images/b232.jpg
now that's a gay club
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32723
posted:
10/03/2009 15:57:26
|
|
Is that a gay club?
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32722
posted:
10/03/2009 13:40:39
|
|
i'm a blue thunder man
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32721
posted:
10/03/2009 13:24:14
|
|
I prefer Street Hawk
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32720
posted:
10/03/2009 13:13:22
|
|
He's watching Manimal.
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32719
posted:
10/03/2009 11:14:31
|
|
Where is Darlene?
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32718
posted:
10/03/2009 09:37:40
|
6 weeks ago talking about being in a band meant being in the tnmc or not and as i said i'd been playing out with woods and that years back, and the tnmc mk1 so i'd kind of had enough of doing that style of groove
i'd prefer coffee keith, if you have any
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32717
posted:
10/03/2009 09:31:18
|
|
Where is my fucking Tea?
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32716
posted:
10/03/2009 08:35:09
|
I would love a cup thanks Keith. Can you make wild bore one too.
Milk no sugar for me,
a dash of gizz for wild.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32715
posted:
09/03/2009 22:19:42
|
er
right.
would anyone like a nice cup of tea?
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32714
posted:
09/03/2009 22:13:15
|
|
You obviously weren't taking a lie detector test when you told me you didn't want to be in a band any more about 6 weeks ago.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32713
posted:
09/03/2009 19:50:30
|
re #32706, that's what it looks like doesn't it, but it's not - i'll take a lie detector test
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32712
posted:
09/03/2009 16:47:15
|
|
#32710 - I've always had a keyboard guitar (ish) - the Dx100 can fit a guitar strap.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32711
posted:
09/03/2009 16:12:35
|
What becomes of the forum and the whole TNMC concept if Pete's fucked off with another band? I feel betrayed. Its like a knife through my testes.
I know. If Pete gives me the password I'll take over the forum. Come on Pete. Give me the nod. I'll make this the most controversial fucking load of bollocks on the whole cunting net and we'll be shut down within a month.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32710
posted:
09/03/2009 16:10:08
|
|
Electronic drum kit? Thats a bad omen. There's never in the history of ROCK been a decent band with an electronic drum kit. Have you got a keyboard guitar Zaphod?
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32709
posted:
09/03/2009 15:05:44
|
|
BTW I'm drinking Champagne at the moment - what o - oh gosh golly - what what - reaaarrerley
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32708
posted:
09/03/2009 15:03:12
|
no doubt for some time to come too.
We have no decent material, but Spew has a mental electronic drum kit which is spew-mental. I think me and Pete will probably just be part of the dance troupe on stage whilst spew hovers above mentalising his electro beats.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32707
posted:
09/03/2009 14:57:53
|
|
That's certainly Zaphod's most interesting post for some time.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32706
posted:
09/03/2009 14:54:24
|
Conspiracy! They obviously had this planned all along. Great news. Right, game on.
Fucking new band is it? Fucking right? Any good? No, thought not, want to borrow some decent material? Try this
http://www.myspace.com/johnstukaband
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32705
posted:
09/03/2009 14:12:40
|
Keith is going to love this - Spew started a new band - with his mate Dan, and me and Pete.
There it is - the writing is on the forum.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32704
posted:
09/03/2009 12:57:00
|
|
I can't belive I'm still hungover from Saturday night, it's a bloody disgrace. It's no wonder that most people my age stop drinking and start raising families. It makes perfect sense. But booze does taste good ... anyone fancy a pint?
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32703
posted:
09/03/2009 12:55:20
|
|
Keith was obviously making the story about a job interview up.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32702
posted:
09/03/2009 12:49:38
|
|
If anyone has news that isn't related to babies I'll be in a state of shock.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32701
posted:
09/03/2009 12:19:33
|
|
Go on then.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32700
posted:
09/03/2009 11:58:30
|
|
I need to tell you something.
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32699
posted:
09/03/2009 11:36:13
|
What worries me though, is that if Barack Obama is the anti christ, and is about to sell us all down the river whilst commencing his 1000 year reign of evil, then no cunt will know about it til its too late. You'll all be too fucking busy gawping and praising and arse licking and going on about how he's the saviour and he can do no wrong and he's a black man so that makes everything fucking O.K BY ME.
Pass me the 7 holy daggers of Migido please.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32698
posted:
09/03/2009 11:32:28
|
Fucking get me. I'm in court tomorrow fighting the powers that be on behalf of a disabled person, I've got a fucking top job interview on Thursday at which I'm doing a presentation, I'm in the middle of recording my new single 'its complicated' which is a ferocious 10,000mph heavier than the sun burnout,to be released on Friday at midnight AND I'm addicted to drink and drugs.
Thats how you fucking do it. Thats how you fucking roll. Fucking wasters.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32697
posted:
09/03/2009 10:20:13
|
|
fucking lightweights
|
| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32696
posted:
08/03/2009 20:34:24
|
|
And when you're done pass me the shotgun ... death has to be more pleasant than this fucking hangover
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32695
posted:
08/03/2009 20:32:27
|
|
someone fucking kill me please
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32694
posted:
08/03/2009 19:59:18
|
|
CHRIST ON A PARK BENCH
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32693
posted:
08/03/2009 19:58:59
|
|
I'm sorry ok. i'm just trying to deal with drug and alcohol addiction. O FUCKING K?
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32692
posted:
08/03/2009 19:55:28
|
Dear those of you with children. As part of my ongoing commitment to providing you with information about my carefree life as a non-parent I would like you all to know that yesterday I embarked on a 13 hour drinking session at 3.30pm and stayed in bed today until 1pm. Obviously I'm not suggesting this is preferable to sitting next to a baby intercom, going to bed at 10pm then getting up at 5am to clean up some yellow shit. In fact on the basis of the power of my hangover I'd have done anything to have been in the bathroom instead at 5am cleaning milk sick out of my shirt.
Are you impressed with my understanding of having young children? JUST TRY TAKING THIS MUCH DRUGS.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32691
posted:
08/03/2009 19:49:39
|
|
I'm sluglike.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32690
posted:
08/03/2009 17:43:27
|
|
I am a slug
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32689
posted:
08/03/2009 15:29:25
|
NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A SESSION
help
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32688
posted:
08/03/2009 07:28:58
|
|
I'm on my way. I've got church now, but I should be with you by 10.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32687
posted:
08/03/2009 04:53:17
|
|
WHO FUCKING WANTS SOME THEN?
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32686
posted:
07/03/2009 22:14:32
|
|
imissed you and I must admit
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32685
posted:
07/03/2009 22:13:58
|
soooooooooon be home, we'll soon be home, soon soon soon be home, soon soon be home ( come on old horse)
dang dang dang dang dang dang dang smack etc
WE'RE ALL FORGIVEN!
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32684
posted:
07/03/2009 22:12:20
|
|
mY NAME IS iVOR, i'M AN ENGINE DRIVER, LET'S HAVE A smile for an old engine driver
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32683
posted:
07/03/2009 18:55:29
|
|
anyway, what times first nappy?
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32682
posted:
07/03/2009 18:55:02
|
|
holy fuck, dats good
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32681
posted:
07/03/2009 18:48:02
|
|
hey keith, i've got a fucking good night lined up ahead, there's a clue back there, can you come over?
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32680
posted:
07/03/2009 18:47:25
|
|
yeah right you fucking scumbag
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32679
posted:
07/03/2009 18:28:24
|
|
re #32677 um, thats my life in cheshunt you've just described.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32678
posted:
07/03/2009 12:24:58
|
Here's the Mamas and Papas from monterey 1967 - some on everyone let's go HIPPIE!
http://www.tinyurl.com/53kqkf
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32677
posted:
07/03/2009 12:19:30
|
It would be worth getting a lot of acid and watching that again.
Hey everyone, I think we should go very hippie this year. 2009 is the new 1967 baby. Let's chill out, get some booze and some spliff and hang out in parks all summer. Here's Simon and Garfunkel from Monterey pop 1967 to get us in the mood.
http://www.tinyurl.com/59v872
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32676
posted:
07/03/2009 11:05:39
|
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i__XhXf9rPI&feature=related
This is a brief glimpse into what goes on in Darlene's mind whilst the rest of us are at work.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32675
posted:
07/03/2009 10:52:23
|
|
the 60s were great, even young girls had experience of bad trips
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32674
posted:
07/03/2009 10:14:36
|
What is this?
A FREAK OUT??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zail7Gdqro
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32673
posted:
06/03/2009 23:59:54
|
|
Yar, fuckin shizvak bazzzdtzz
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32672
posted:
06/03/2009 23:56:38
|
|
But darling, I've been drunk since 1997.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32671
posted:
06/03/2009 23:04:29
|
|
Hands up if you're drunk
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32670
posted:
06/03/2009 22:46:06
|
|
Yes, what a cunt I am.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32669
posted:
06/03/2009 20:53:38
|
|
What a lot of fucking cunts on a friday not fucking posting anything.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32668
posted:
06/03/2009 15:57:57
|
|
It's lively on here today isn't it? Where are the CUNTS?
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32667
posted:
06/03/2009 15:57:16
|
|
Rock 'n roll baby. I'm still living the dream.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32666
posted:
06/03/2009 15:12:07
|
|
I am quite remorseful now.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32665
posted:
06/03/2009 12:27:44
|
Check out this fucking genius:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=06c_1236293239&p=1
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32664
posted:
06/03/2009 12:06:10
|
|
Hi Darlene, I expect you're in the remorse stage now. Yes, its all true.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32663
posted:
06/03/2009 09:46:43
|
http://tinyurl.com/akbkt8
It's OK, Darlene, there is hope for you yet.
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32662
posted:
06/03/2009 09:30:55
|
|
KUMMMGT,Y
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32661
posted:
06/03/2009 09:30:25
|
|
FUCKIN BLUE
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32660
posted:
06/03/2009 09:28:13
|
its fucking blue suky as well out there innit
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32659
posted:
06/03/2009 09:27:29
|
i'M drunk and i've gpt the jeremy kyle on GO ON FUCVKING TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THAT YOU FUCKING BARSTARDS
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32658
posted:
06/03/2009 09:23:36
|
Hi everyone. I got absolutely clattered on Margharitas or wotever last night and. Sarah caught me chuffing a doner kebab down at 2am in the dark. today i'm driving the porsche down to a coffee shop and me and vince are going to have tea and cake. This isn't easy you know.
GPO ON ALL, FUCK OFF THEN
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32657
posted:
05/03/2009 19:39:47
|
|
Jesus, what a cunt.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32656
posted:
05/03/2009 18:11:50
|
#32654 - Pete, the last thing we need is nationwide firesprinklers: imagine what would happen on bonfire night!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, I'm here all week. Try the veal.
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32655
posted:
05/03/2009 17:35:05
|
|
#32653 - Pete, just go to the fridge and begin a long and meaningful conversation with 6 or 7 cans of Artois. In about an hour you won't remember any of this silliness. Off you go.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32654
posted:
05/03/2009 17:05:18
|
|
http://www.nationwidefiresprinklers.co.uk - blimey
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32653
posted:
05/03/2009 17:03:40
|
thanks everyone, i'll bear it all in mind, this chap was over last night and suggested that we have a dormer going over the bathroom as well as where we were thinking, that would make the loft very big indeed, perhaps big enough to house the av equipment featured in #32650
and he also suggested we get a sprinkler system installed in the house as that would negate having to do anything bonkers with layout/fire doors, having said that a sprinkler system in the house does sound rather bonkers
up shot is, can anyone lend me £30k?
|
| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32652
posted:
05/03/2009 16:43:34
|
#32650 - I like it. What cunt put that white radiator in though?
Peter, don't fall into the trap of spoiling your children. They can share a fucking room until they leave home. Look at Denise, her first brat didn't even have a room. We need to get our childrens feet back on the ground, mate. Keith certainly has - they don't have any floors in their house!
Sorry, that's probably true isn't it.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32651
posted:
05/03/2009 16:38:49
|
|
#32647 - The reason I put 2/1 Denise is 'cos you wereonce a property owner but now are not. I didn't want to do you a dis-service by suggesting you'd never dipped your foot into that particular pirahna pond.
|
| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32650
posted:
05/03/2009 16:29:20
|
Pete, if I was you I'd go for one like this: http://www.tinyurl.com/dcxtft
Advantages: has James Bond on the telly, has two glasses of Cristal (one for me, one for my bitches, bitches are out of shot), contains no wives or children.
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32649
posted:
05/03/2009 16:18:22
|
Eunuch cunts.
Grow some balls. Us men are drinking THRICE as much as you boys out of pure DESPERATION.
Loft Conversions.
Just fucking get up there with your sledgehammer and smash all the fucking joists out Pete. Fucking clear it of all that shit, put some fucking planks on the floor, settee, TV, bed, porn collection, fridge, sorted. Dont fucking step between the planks though Pete.
|
| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32648
posted:
05/03/2009 16:15:34
|
|
Would it be easier if I just took my own life here and now?
|
| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32647
posted:
05/03/2009 16:04:11
|
|
Darlene, I'd love to know which magical box of misery you're not sure whether I've done or not.
|
| Denise
(their email remains private...)
|
|
#32646
posted:
05/03/2009 15:59:02
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Only Chantelle and Zaphod have ticked all three. Denise has two/one, I one.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32645
posted:
05/03/2009 15:57:48
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Believe me, that's not a bad thing.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32644
posted:
05/03/2009 15:57:21
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You'll be the only one soon who hasn't ticket one of the three magical boxes of misery young bore.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32643
posted:
05/03/2009 15:55:54
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I do have a slight advantage young bore.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32642
posted:
05/03/2009 15:52:25
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There you go, you don't need to own a house to know about owning a house. Would anyone like Darlene & I to provide tips on parenthood?
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32641
posted:
05/03/2009 15:17:26
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The bore has relevant points, Chantelle.
Loft conversions tend to cover their build cost but it isn't guaranteed. It is important that the actual space created is not compromised which means a full mansard roof and definitely an acompanying ensuite shower and WC. The house coukd be accused of being top heavy in respect of a sale but then next door have paved the way for a kitchen extension which would even things up nicely. The risk then is having a relatively large property which will attract a young family but with a relatively small garden which will count against it. However, the point here is that you need an extra room and this will provide the solution without all the FUCKING SHIT of having to move. The work will be a pain though so as the bore has said it will only really be worth it if you then stick around for a bit.
Darlene's conclusion: You should have got a job in the city and bought a 6 bed detatched house in Chelsea.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32640
posted:
05/03/2009 14:53:37
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Obvious point, but a very important point is to weigh up increased value it brings to property v cost of build. As I don't believe you have any e.g. Tudor oak beams to protect the aspect of, it's fairly likely it will add value. How long are you planning to live in the property? It'll be quite an effort but worthwhile if you stay there long enough to reap the benefits.
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32639
posted:
05/03/2009 14:23:08
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loft extensions, good idea or not? discuss
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| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
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#32638
posted:
05/03/2009 13:20:48
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Oh Zaphod, since I'm now trying to have the experiences you're missing out on on your behalf it might warm your heart to know that while you were at work yesterday afternoon I was ragging Vince's porsche back from Chiswick with the top down. Sorry, no photos available.
Actually, Hammersmith police might have one.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32637
posted:
05/03/2009 13:17:26
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I have to agree with young bore here. We could kill 2 birds with 1 stone by borrowing Zaphod's car and £50, then driving it to the pub and back.
I suppose it's 3 birds with 1 stone if you count the bit where we put the car halfway up a tree in Bushey Park on the return journey.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32636
posted:
05/03/2009 13:01:23
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Darlene is certainly onto something here. All you newish fathers have so many possessions that are being sadly wasted, and in the spirit of being environmentally friendly we should really be recycling - or giving to friends in need. For example, Zaphod has about 100bhp spare in his cars now that he has a baby and has to be really sensible and stuff. My car's getting on a bit and could do with a boost. And another example is beer money. It's pretty darn clear than none of you are spending anywhere near your recommended daily amount of beer money. Well Darlene and I are here for you, we'll help that money go to a good cause.
Just think about it for a moment, I think you'll agree with the logic.
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32635
posted:
05/03/2009 12:44:19
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#32633 - That's my boy.
Hey, isn't the thought of Peter prowling around Isleworth under cover of darkness impregnating women both fantastic and unsettling?
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32634
posted:
05/03/2009 12:09:33
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#32623 - including the STDs and prison sentences?
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32633
posted:
05/03/2009 12:09:07
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that's what you think darlene
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| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
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#32632
posted:
05/03/2009 11:56:28
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Peter, I think I speak for everyone on the forum in expressing my concern at the fact that you don't appear to have got anyone pregnant in the last 18 hours or so - is everything ok?
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32631
posted:
05/03/2009 11:24:29
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I've got the right horn thinking about giving Kelly Brook a golden shower now.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32630
posted:
05/03/2009 11:20:33
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Hull, Middlesbrough, Arsenal, its all the same thing.
I locked myself out this morning. I've destroyed the letterbox breaking in via the stick trick.
oh yes-and i'm gay now.
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| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
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#32629
posted:
05/03/2009 11:14:11
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Thank God. Denise, can you call Kelly Brook please. I'll do my best to not go to the toilet until she arrives.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32628
posted:
05/03/2009 10:59:44
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Oh my god, Darlene has started hallucinating. We've got to get her off the sauce, and quick.
Darlene, stay calm, we're trying to help you. WE'RE TRYING TO HELP YOU, DARLENE. IS THERE ANYONE YOU WANT US TO CALL FOR YOU? WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE TOILET?
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| Denise
(their email remains private...)
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#32627
posted:
05/03/2009 10:36:58
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Hey, I saw my black dwarf tramp again this morning! It must have been 08.45 between Clapham North and Stockwell. He was drinking a can of White Lightning, thank goodness. I was slightly worried about his credentials as an alcoholic ethnic minority dwarf tramp when I saw him with a can of Fosters last week.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32626
posted:
05/03/2009 10:33:55
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At least Peter has his finger on the pulse when it comes to football.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32625
posted:
05/03/2009 10:03:15
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spud 4 - hull 0
blimey
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| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
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#32624
posted:
05/03/2009 09:54:22
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Ok, Denise. You're on. What do you want me to do after the volcano? Hang on etc
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32623
posted:
05/03/2009 09:29:48
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I get half of everything.
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| Denise
(their email remains private...)
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#32622
posted:
05/03/2009 09:29:35
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Actually I think that could work. Using the power of the internet we'll batch up users into teams of 100 and charge each user £10/month subscription. Each team has a dedicated "holidaymaker" who, once per month, will go on a trip with the details decided collectively by the team. The whole thing is lifecasted and the highlights edited.
Darlene, your first trip will start with two nights of bareback whoring in Cambodia, after which you'll be thrown into a live volcano. Is that ok?
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| Denise
(their email remains private...)
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#32621
posted:
05/03/2009 09:18:05
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#32619 - That's not a bad idea actually. Since you lot will only be able to go on family holidays from now on, which as Denise can testify are stressful, boring and cold (since you'll be too poor to leave England), what you do is pay for me to go on your dream holiday each year and report back! So while you're pushing a pram up Richmond High Street in May getting shouted at by your wife you can be happy knowing I'm pissed up in a hotel in New York emailing you photos of the Empire State building!
Come on guys, this can work!
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32620
posted:
05/03/2009 09:16:09
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Er - one problem 'mate'
You can't snowboard for shit so my ultra hardcore board would probably kill you. get yourself downthe hireshop pronto, actually I do have an old board that you could borrow. shit you could have it for free if you want (just as long as you promise not to swap it for a case of stella). Its got no bindings though , so you'd need some of them.
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| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
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#32619
posted:
04/03/2009 23:28:53
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Zaphod, I know this might be a sore point but since I'm childfree and carefree and can go on holiday whenever I want is there any cahnce I can borrow your snowboard and all your gear? OBVIOUSLY you can have a copy of all the photos!
Thanks mate xx
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32618
posted:
04/03/2009 23:23:57
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Listen, when I start properly fucking for babies you lot aren't going to know what's hit you. I'll have 4 before you lot have talked your wives into the next one. Sarah's going to look like a FUCKING ZEPPELIN when I get going.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32617
posted:
04/03/2009 16:39:25
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I'll tell you this for why though, I'd rather have 15 kids in a 2 bedroom flat than a fucking VASECTOMY. You can keep that. The brother in law had one with a local anaesthetic and took me through the procedure. I still shiver to recall it. Then ,he told me, the next day his scrotum was discoloured and swollen right up like a huge black balloon. Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.
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| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
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#32616
posted:
04/03/2009 16:27:34
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I didn't think of that. Those 2 randy barstards will waste no time in getting number 3 out before me if I dont act now. I cant simply stand by whilst Marsh, who only 3 and a half months ago, had never even seen a child but now has 2, goes spunking off all over the place and spunks my title right off the mantelpiece.
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| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
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#32615
posted:
04/03/2009 15:59:06
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#32612 - Sorry.
#32611 - You don't know how right you are. The last time I went round he was humping the leg of the sofa.
#32614 - She'd fucking better or Bramhall or Pete will beat you to it.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32614
posted:
04/03/2009 14:49:32
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I feel sure my wife must have another on the way. After all, I'm staring unemployment, bankruptcy and homelessness square in the face, we're already overcrowded and broke, and yet I am the ultimate bareback rider. They call me 'The Gambler'. But, as Bono once said- I was born to lose, and gamblin's for fools, but thats the way I like it baby, I ain't gonna live forever. Or something.
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| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
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#32613
posted:
04/03/2009 14:40:52
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At the moment every time I blink one of my friends pumps out another baby - do you all honestly expect me to remember all of their names? I can't even remember your names half the time. Or mine on Friday and Saturday nights.
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32612
posted:
04/03/2009 13:28:52
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#32609 - correct - you cunt
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| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
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#32611
posted:
04/03/2009 12:47:21
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Poor Estelle. He's got a taste for it now. There'll be no let up for the poor love. Doesn't bear thinking about. As Bono said, well tonight thank God its you instead of me. Or something.
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| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
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#32610
posted:
04/03/2009 11:58:53
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On the basis of the rabbit theory by which Peter appears to be working he should have 26,000 offspring by Christmas.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32609
posted:
04/03/2009 11:54:45
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#32605 - Is that because you probably won't be going snowboarding again for about 15 years?
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32608
posted:
04/03/2009 11:47:56
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Yeah right you're fucking hardcore amonst the fucking Royal family and all their mates who fucking go skiing in the Austrain alps. You'd not last 5 fucking minutes out the front of my house where I singlehandedly took on a mob of at least 20 drugged up working class teen age cunts at snowballs and fucking took at least 4 of the cunts down as I went out in a blaze of glory.
Well done Peter old son, can I be the first to point out that number 2 is not twice as much work its 200 times as much and the rest of your life has now been cancelled.
Congratulations!
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| Keith the IraniAC
(their email remains private...)
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#32607
posted:
04/03/2009 11:36:27
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Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me.
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32606
posted:
04/03/2009 11:35:51
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#32605 - phew, I was getting bored already
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32605
posted:
04/03/2009 10:39:18
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Don't talk to me about extreme skiing.
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| Zaphod Beeblebrox
(their email remains private...)
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#32604
posted:
04/03/2009 10:33:01
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#32600 - it was a blue run.
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| Denise
(their email remains private...)
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#32603
posted:
04/03/2009 10:03:03
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well done Peter & Estelle, you are veritable rabbits!
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32602
posted:
04/03/2009 10:01:58
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go on Steve! etc.
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| wild bore
(their email remains private...)
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#32601
posted:
04/03/2009 09:31:14
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And that's what happens if you don't read back through a post.
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32600
posted:
04/03/2009 09:30:06
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Hi everyone, Darlene here.
I was watching a documentary about extreme skiing yesterday and all these hardcore psychopaths were saying that Chamonix ios the fucking shit and that you'rfe not a proper skiier until you've skiied (and snowboarded) Chamonix. They then rather amusingly priduced a series of locations which I variously identified to my wife as where Stu puked, where I broke Leo's glasses, where we nearly got arrested and where Leo dressed as a cow woke everyone up in the middle of the night.
Anyway, we are all HARDCORE basically because we've skiied Chamonix so Peter and Denise can both feel very proud!*
* Admittedly they were focussing more on doing 100mph on a 50 degree rock face than walking down a green run holding your skis but hey, it was Chamonix!
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32599
posted:
04/03/2009 09:23:06
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Congratulations Peter and Estelle!
Fast work there Peter. Fucking hell, no wonder we don't hear much from you.
Also, when did you buy a hospital?
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| Darlene
(their email remains private...)
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#32598
posted:
04/03/2009 09:17:01
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hey hey hey, we're having another baby! here's the picture of the little mite
http://www.tnmc.co.uk/images/ESTELLE2NDBABY1STSCAN.jpg
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| chantelle marsh
(their email remains private...)
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